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Get The Peanut


quagma

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I have a peanut. It is the last peanut. Everybody wants my peanut. The goal of the game is to get the peanut from the person who currently has the peanut. I have the peanut, just sitting there in my hand. Take the peanut from me.

RULES: You can not eat the peanut. It is too precious to eat. You can not destroy it, either. If somebody says they now have the peanut, they have the peanut. If you take the peanut, you must describe how you took the peanut. Defend the peanut. Use the same post to describe the taking and defending of the peanut. The goal is escalation. You can harm, but not kill, other people in the taking and defending of the peanut.

I will begin. I am holding the last peanut in my hand. I'm unaware of its importance, and so I'm not gripping it very tightly. I sit down on a crate, and I get ready to open up my peanut and eat it.

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I do not know that. Your goal is to take the peanut before I eat it and the game ends. This will be the only time the peanut is in danger of destruction. Everybody except me is aware that the peanut I have is the last peanut.

I wiggle around on the hard crate, trying to get comfortable.

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I come from behind, and I scare quagma. He drops the peanut on the floor, which rolls under the crate. I sit on the floor, on the right side of the crate. While I chat with quagma, I recover the peanut, which was under the crate, and I store it in my left pocket. 

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Those ten days gave me the opportunity to discover that everybody wants the peanut. Having checked security cameras in the alley where I first had lost the peanut, I discover a mysterious stranger had ninja'd the peanut. Lucky for me, the ten day delay allowed me to track down the peanut. I sneak in and grab the peanut. It was just sitting on the counter! I run off into the forest, putting the peanut in a suitcase, handcuffing it to myself.

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I had been sleeping for five days straight, until a very specific rock smashed my head. I became extremely crazy after the recovery, which took five days. I grabbed a chainsaw and started to haphazardly cut trees in the forest. I heard a scream, so I stopped the chainsaw to inspect the zone. Under several trees, I saw a quite familiar head. My jaw fell to the floor when I realized I had killed quagma. I saw a suitcase with a broken handcuff.


Feeling sorry about quagma, I built a coffin out of some trees I had chopped down before, and buried it ten feet underground. I then took the suitcase and went back to the lab. I bruteforced the suitcase, retrieving its contents: a single peanut.


After a few days, I realized it was the same peanut as before, so I started wondering whether it was the last one or not. Fearing it might be the last one, I stored it in a jar, put the jar in a safebox and secured the safebox with a containment field. Finally, I went back to my place to have a rest, still having nightmares.


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I was wandering around in the forest, nearly crazy from lack of water, when my neck started itched, and I blacked out. Next thing I knew, I was in a coffin, buried 10 feet underground. I must have passed out due to lack of water, and narrowly missed the chainsaw. Using my sheer will and determination, I bust out of the ground. I emerge from the broken concrete and rock, to find myself in a lab. I see a small box on a table, contained in some sort of field. I locate the device projecting the field, and use my trusty wrench to destroy it. I then take the strongbox, and use my trusty wrench on it as well. The jar gets the trusty wrench treatment as well. Having obtained the peanut, I run to the beach, where I encase the peanut in amber. I place the peanut in a Grove of angry tree monsters, and barely escape with my life. Believing the peanut to be safe, I drop off into slumber.

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As my Peanut got Ninja'd like I once ninja'd it. I went to search it and came to the conclusion. That Fanbus and Quagma are the 2 that could have it.

After some research I have followed Quagma, as I saw him deploying the peanut in a cave of a certain amount of, not wanna come close to 'monsters'.

 

After he runned like a Olympic Champion out of the cave, I noticed he went to sleep. 

As I did not want to get myzelf in trouble getting the peanut.  I pick Quagma up and toss him in the cave as bait. He woke up, with all the cave monsters surrounding him and they all are very very, extremely hungry.

As I had retrieven the peanut in Amber and walking back, coming acros Quagma. again. The monsters are now closer to him and more hungry.

 

I started thinking, I had brought Quagma in an Dire situation.  So after I walked out of the cave, I wished him the best of luck.

 

 

I putted the peanut within the amber in a nucleaire base. In a coffin (that is big enough for the peanut and amber), that if the coffin gets open, the Nuke's go off.

After having done all these.  I went to go and search on what happened with Quagma.

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I woke up, sweating like an open faucet. I wandered into a cave, where I found a sitting crying quagma. I couldn't believe he hadn't died! While I was hugging him, he started to shake and pointed to the right. I then noticed there was a bunch of monsters. I grabbed quagma and ran out. After we were out of danger, we chatted for a bit. I commented him I had found the same peanut twice and he said he had gone through a similar experience. I then went to my house, wondering where that peanut might be.

A single word was hitting my thoughts:

"Thenickjes, Thenickjes, Thenickjes..."

I thought of the old nuclear base in the city. Then fell asleep.

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As the legends had predicted, a mysterious adventurer, the Indiana Cow arrived to this world. His face had not been seen by anyone, and people only dared to say his name while whispering. His destiny was to retrieve lost treasures and protect what belonged to the mortals. His only weapons were his Whip and a plasma drill. Recently Indiana Cow had heard of the last peanut, that had been hunted down by many treasure hunters, but only a few had had the chance to hold it in their hands. Scared of this treasure going to loss, he undertook the task of returning this legendary peanut to the farmers for replanting it and restoring the population of peanuts.

Consulting the highest god in his Spheres of mind, Cow inspected the 3 adventurers minds and their dreams.

He found Th3Fanbus stressed about the old nuclear bunker;

quagma was riding a skeleton unicorn;

finally he looked into Thenickjes deep brain folds but couldn't see a clear scene. One part of Thenickjes mind was full of dark nuclear explosions, but the other half had the bright side slowly recovering as Thenickjes was coming back to see what's left over from quagma.

 

Finally Cow came to conclusion that he should try the nuclear bunker, cause it seemed the most logical solution in the 3 adventurers' minds.

As he cut the bunker door open, using his plasma drill, he nearly tripped over a thin wire, that was linked to a mini nuke behind the wall panel. He wentured deeper being more careful than ever, till he found a coffin, which seemed suspicious in the middle of the room.

Remembering the previous traps, Cow choosed to cut the side of the coffin open, using his plasma drill again. Inside he saw a jar. And an amber. And a peanut. Inside the amber. Inside the jar. Inside the coffin. As he reached to grab the jar he also spotted a small mechanism at the coffins lid, and was thankful that he was smart enough to not open it from the top.

Rushing out from the nuclear base, he broke the jar and left glass shards behind. Then he put the ambered peanut into a titan and steel alloy case, that he then welded together using his plasma drill (again) (just to mention, the drill is unobtainable by others, as it is being stored in Cow's antimatterial storage that allows only the creator of it accessing it. He then reported his found to the higher gods of the universe and wen't to his secret levitating home, with a camo shield that could adapt to the environment. Having had a long day, Cow passed out as he threw his plasma drill in the antimatterial storage and locked the house door.

 

P.S. Indiana Cow wasn't the best at English, as he wasn't from this universe.

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Th3Fanbus was in his portable dimension, away from all dangers. He started to do some biological engineering to replicate plant life. So far, his spare wheat seeds didn't give out any results. He hopes he can replicate the peanut he saw without destroying it. The same peanut quagma saw.

 

His radar noticed someone else appeared. Is that a good thing?

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After I have gotten Quagma arrested for endangering my live in the cave, I decided to check on the peanut.

 

At the Nuckleair Base, I saw some spores of cow shit all over the place, I thought fanbus, was getting his cow fans to act as bait for him, but I quick found out, because of the camera tape's, that it was a Cow of some other universe. That had stolen my peanut.

 

As I know fanbus actually had any idea about this cow, I have also gotten him arrested, and because he was talking the whole time about an diverent Universum, the police thought he was insane, so they took him 'somewhere special' For further 'investigation'.

 

As I now have 2 problems out of the way. I'm conspiring my plan to retrieve my Peanut.

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Having been arrested for trying to protect my property, and having put the peanut in my property when Thenickjes trespassed on it, stealing my peanut, the police released me, and arrested Thenickjes instead for trespassing. Since this world is apparently very strange, with tree monsters, random resurrections, nuclear energy everywhere, evil secret bases, space and time travel, the police realeased Th3Fanbus from custody, since there was weird claims were common fact and knowledge.

After being released, I went to one of the many secret laboratories in the area, and entered their experimental teleportation chamber. In my mind, I feel a strange resonance, and after some thought, recognize it as the peanut in it's amber shell. I feel with my mind, and discover the coordinates of it's location. I then input those coordinates into the teleportation chamber's control panel, and activate it.

I appear inside a strange container, my molecules having been shifted from one space-time location to another, and see that it is dark. Strangely, my body begins glowing. All this radiation in the world does strange things to living things. My body doing weird things is normal for me. I locate the peanut on a small pedestal, and grab it. The peanut is mine!

The teleportation chamber, being experimental, snaps me and the peanut back to it after a short amount of time.

I run from the lab, and go to my property, into a cave below the tree monsters. In here, the roots act as protection, but they are more kind to me than their owners. They don't seem to tolerate strangers, however. This time, I place the peanut in a psychic field, where only people with my same mind can enter. It's not very much protection, since anybody with a hard to obtain device known as a mental duplicator can get through it, but it is so difficult to obtain I don't worry much. But just in case I place lasers and spike traps all around. I'm the only one left alive who knows where the teleport chamber is, since it used to be one of my pet projects.

I have captured and protected the peanut, and I go deeper into my cave to work on things. The only light comes from my body's own glow.

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Scratching my head of how this could have happened, I sensed some radiation leftovers. After analyzing it with a proper tool, other than my mouth or nose I came to a conclusion that this type of radiation is usually made when teleporting. Finally it came to my mind that i should check the surveilance cameras, and there i saw it. A beam of light appeared and quagma came through the loophole. Amazed by how the puny human could have done this I fell off my chair and passed out bumping my head on the floor panels.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I hear about the peanut and find myself in the teleportation machine room and i use my amazing tracker skills to track the co-ordinates of it and teleport myself to quagma and find him sleeping i quietly take the peanut away and put a tracking device on him and i head to all the others who had taken the peanut and put one on them too and with my spy gear i had the peanut in my safe lock which is activated by a password which if not touched by my fingerprint plus eye scan no one can open this safe is also locked in a lock which is locked in another lock which is locked by a lock that has a key that is hanging on my neck.

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I guess this is the end...

Nah, jk, it's not.

I'm waking up,

Sand in my ears,

I can't see clear

But i know my job,

I have signed for it,

It's time to leave.

...

Grab my whip,

My mining dip,

I'm not coming back, till i get it done.

This is it, my final chance

Woaaoh.

I'm beaming up,

I feel it in my tits,

Came to retrieve peanut bits.

Welcome to the new age,

to the new age.

Welcome to the new age,

to the new stage.

Wooaa-oh,

Wooaa-oh,

Cow-diabetes, cow diabetes.

(x2)

I raise my whip,

My restraints go,

His key is mine, as i propose.

I cut his hands,

His Eye-balls too.

Wooaa-oh.

Going off,

The plan is clear,

Leave this place with some nuke treatment oh dear.

This is it, my final chance,

Wooaa-oh.

I'm beaming up,

I feel it in my tits,

Done retrieving peanut bits,

Welcome to the new age,

to the new age,

Welcome to the new age,

to the new stage.

Wooaa-oh,

Wooaa-oh,

Cow-diabetes, cow diabetes.

(x2)

Up, up I go,

To see the final blow,

Noone survives,

When an antimatter nuke dies.

I'm beaming up

I feel it in my tits.

Having retrieved peanut bits.

Welcome to the new age,

to the new age,

Welcome to the new age,

to the new stage.

Wooaa-oh,

Wooaa-oh,

Cow-diabetes, cow diabetes.

(x2)

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I wake up with my hands and eyeballs gone i use my mind control to use my phrone and teleport myself to a lab where i get my mechanic arms and eyes and using this i  become the person with the most awesomeness in the world and i cut of my legs and add mechanics and also my face and my chest and switch my heart to be controlled on a energy source deep in my body i have become like iron man xD,Now i use my awesomeness to track the song singer and this time i put a ghost cage which can only be opened by none ghosts from outside and he isnt one but he cant open from inside and now i steal the last peanut then i go to my lab and go to the duplicator which works once in a year so i get 2 peanuts i eat the duplicated one and put the original one in the safe of doom which if touched by someone else other than me they are sent the a dimension where no one survives alone.

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  • 10 months later...

I hire Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick your safe of doom, His kick, effectively reduces your safe to ash, I pickup the peanut and explain to chuck its importance and my deep need to keep it safe from anyone that would do it wrong, in hopes of planting it and growing more. Chuck Norris nods and vows to protect me and the peanut from anyone who would try to take it. He Never Lets me or the peanut out of his sight, for chuck does not sleep, sleep is too afraid of him...

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