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[Voodoo]

granted, but you survive and are unable to die, so you are stuck floating around in space until the end of time.

I wish i was a robot

[SoullessSushi]

Granted, but your forced to live in a tiny dome all by yourself underwater, and going outside the down will short circuit your body.

 

I wish I could have a machine that gave me whatever food I wanted in almost an instant.

[Voodoo]

Granted. But the food it produces looks appealing. But inside is tasteless grey mush.

I wish mcdonalds was free.

[SoullessSushi]

Granted, but it's only free because you stole it and you end up getting arrested and going to jail.

 

i wish minecraft was a real dimension you could go in in the real world.

[Voodoo]

Granted. But the days are the same speed as real minecraft and the portal into the dimension is guarded by hundreds of supercharged creepers.

I wish i could teleport anywhere anytime without any repurcussions or complications. 

[SoullessSushi]

Granted, but one time you teleport into the middle of a bank robbery on accident and you get shot, and die.

 

I wish I could remember everything that happened to me as a child.

[Voodoo]

Granted. But you forget everything that happened to you after the age of 5.

I wish i could have the smell of buttered toast on demand.

[SoullessSushi]

Granted, but it's always burned toast with rotten butter. >:(

 

I wish I could teleport people to me so some weren't so far away, without any alternations to them or myself.

[Voodoo]

Granted! But everytime you do.. someone somewhere dies a horrible death. And you hear the screams every time you do it.  I hope its worth it.

 

I wish for a bit of sushi. 

[SoullessSushi]

Granted, but my brain is gone, so we don't get to talk anymore, hope you're happy. (I can live with a few screams, not my brain though.)

 

I wish that I knew how to make any food in the world-- and it always tasted good.

[Voodoo]

Granted. But you dont have any arms. Legs. Cant talk and youre deaf.. so you cant actually make what you know.

I wish i had xray vision on demand. Could turn it on and off at will. And it didnt alter me. Or anyone or anything else.  Amd i could still see normally whenever i wanted..

[SoullessSushi]

Granted, awesome! You can now see if people had broken bones or see the mush inside their stomach, seeing the mush made you sick so you vomited profusely until you died.

 

I wish I had a better immune system.

[Voodoo]

Granted. But youre imune system was really bad to begin with and this wish only made it slightly better. So you caught a flu and died from it. 

I wish for a nice hot cup of tea. 

[Voodoo]

Served by a monkey butler names jeffrey

[SoullessSushi]

Granted, but Jeffrey doesn't like you, so he overthrows you and takes over the world with the rest of his butler friends and soon you are wearing an apron crawling around on your knees, being a servant to monkeys.

 

I wish I could go to the zoo at any time I wanted.

[Voodoo]

Granted. But you get stuck in a cage with a rather vicious colony of fire ants and you die a slow and painful death.

I wish i didnt have to work for money

[SoullessSushi]

Granted, but the money you recieve is fake, you get arrested for trying to use counterfeit money, and end up in jail.

 

I wish when I burp it never burned because I drank soda.

[Voodoo]

Granted. But instead of burning. It freezes your throat and you die.

I wish iphones were illegal and everyone had to have a samsung phone.

[SoullessSushi]

Granted, but apple bought out Samsung and made their phones better, and you're stuck with an illegal iPhone and you go to prison.

 

I wish I could do work without getting tired.

[Voodoo]

Granted but youre only free from tiredness of the mind. But your body gets so tired it shuts down and you die.

I wish i donated my wish to the homeless

[SoullessSushi]

Granted, but you didn't, so you're still as terrible as before. 

 

I wish no one ever died, ever.

[Voodoo]

Granted.

I wish i had a good weapon for the zombie appocolypse.

[Virtmo]

Granted, but zombies are all Nemesis from Resident Evil(in case you don't know, he is that badass zombie with machine gun http://residentevil.wikia.com/wiki/Nemesis-T_Type)

I wish I were omnipotent

 

[SoullessSushi]

Granted, you spend your days finding ways to kill people that hasn't happened before.

 

I wish I was never hungry.

[Virtmo]

Granted but you are always thirsty

I wish I knew origin and ultimate end of the universe