CursedDarkness

Granted,but the tail will enter in your butt. ( Sorry for being rude ) I wish I had nothing.

Granted,but you will still need water,a lot of water,to compensate the lack of food. I wish I had an i9-7900X and more RAM.

Granted,but you will have to go to school 25 years and a school day will last 8 hours. I wish I would be dead. (interesting what will you respond )

Granted,but you will be killed with a grenade from the best terrorist. I wish I was a god.

Granted,but you will be able to change it only few milliseconds forward. I wish I had a hidden treasure.

Two Priests are walking down the street when a drunk man comes up to them. He says, to the first Priest," I'm Jesus Christ." The Priest replys," No son, you're not!" So he says to the second,"I'm Jesus Christ." He says,"No, son, you're not." The drunk says," Look I can prove it." He takes the two Preists into the bar. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and says," JESUS CHRIST YOU'RE HERE AGAIN!!!" A husband tells his wife, "Since it is your birthday, remember that yellow Lamborghini that you really wanted?". The wife screams in joy and starts crying tears of joy. Then the husband says, "Well I got you a toothbrush, same color". Kid threw the butter out the window, he wanted to see a butterfly. Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t". Pupil: Today and Tomorrow

You guys can share jokes here too ;D

The Teacher says to the class: Who ever stands up is stupid *Nobody stands up* Teacher: I said who ever stands up is STUPID! *Little Johnny stands up* Teacher: Johnny, do you really think that you are stupid? Little Johnny: No Mrs, I just thought that maybe you are lonely being the only one standing. Teacher: Who answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that? Boy: Me and I’m going home now. Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking." Teacher:¨Are you sleeping in my class¨? Student:¨Well now I´m not but if you could be a little quieter I could¨

1)-Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother? -My name is Paul 2)My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away. 3)-What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? -Snowballs. 4)Sleep with an open window tonight! 1400 mosquitos like that. 420 mosquitos commented on it. 210 mosquitos shared this. One mosquito invited for the event. 2800 mosquitos will be attending the event.

Okay looks like I'm first: 1)When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. They spent a decade and 1 hundred million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. Russia used a pencil. 2)A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some homework." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies." Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son. Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching p*rn." Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what p*rn was." The robot slaps the father. Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son." The robot slaps the mother. Robot for sale.

As the world is so sad,I needed to make a post where everyone could share the best jokes(or memes,funny facts etc) he found on the world wide web,to make everyone happy again. Sharing is caring.

Granted,but the protestants will kill you I wish to be a god

The Exorcist (1973) Poltergeist (1982) A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) The Host (2007) Some really old movies,but recommended,to watch The interesting thing in them is that they are old